How to Find Your Tribe in the Digital Age (and Finally Build What You’ve Been Putting Off)

What if the secret to faster progress isn't working harder, but simply talking to the right people? Finding the right peers changes everything.

You gain perspective, learn faster, and you find the courage to keep going.

A single conversation last week showed me why.

The Lonely Path of Adult Learning

In school, finding friends was easy. You sat in the same classes, worked on the same projects, and had the same teachers. Making friends happened naturally.

Then real life begins.

Suddenly, you're on your own. You want to:

• Start creative projects

• Learn new skills

• Get healthier

• Express yourself

But there's no class for that.

No built-in group of people doing it with you.

And it hurts:

• You have no one to celebrate with who truly gets why your small wins matter

• You can't tell if you're doing things right with no one to compare notes with

• Your worries grow bigger without someone to talk to

• Some days you don't feel like trying, and there's no one to push you forward

This loneliness doesn't just feel bad. It actually slows down your progress. We're not meant to do the hard things alone.

A Surprising Connection

Last week, I jumped on a call with Jordan, someone I knew only from X. What started as a casual chat showed me something important: we were playing the same game.

We were both:

• Working regular jobs while building something on the side

• Navigating early parenthood (he has a 9-month-old, I have a 5-month-old)

• Trying to build our names online

• Worried about sharing too much of ourselves

"I've been scared to post on LinkedIn," Jordan told me, which was exactly how I used to feel.

I felt instant relief. Here was someone facing the same challenges, asking the same questions, walking the same path. We're all fighting similar battles, often in silence

Why These Connections Matter

Finding your peers does more than just make you feel good:

They show you what's normal. When you're alone, you can't tell if your struggles are normal or if your goals make sense. Peers help you see what's realistic.

They help you learn faster. You can avoid many mistakes by learning from others on similar paths. Their wrong turns save you time.

They make it safer to try new things. Doing something new is scary. Having others beside you makes it easier to be brave.

They keep you going. The path is long. When you lose steam (and everyone does), friends pull you forward until your own energy returns.

These aren't just nice extras.

They're often what makes the difference between keeping going and giving up. Your success is linked to the company you keep.

When you connect with people playing the same game as you, you're not alone anymore. Their wins show you that your goals are possible too.

These aren't just contacts in your phone. They're fellow travelers who understand the road you're on because they're walking it too. Your journey is unique, but you don't have to walk it alone

How to Find Your Tribe

The internet makes finding your people easier than ever:

Know what game you're playing. What are you trying to build or learn? Getting clear helps the right people find you.

Share your work. Each post sends a signal to people with similar interests. The apps we use actually help connect like-minded people.

Reach out first. Don't just read other people's posts – start conversations. A simple "I see we're both interested in X, want to chat?" can lead to great connections.

Talk one-on-one. Once you connect, try a video call. These deeper talks often reveal how much you have in common.

Each time you reach out, you're helping create the community you wish existed

The Surprising Benefit

My call with Jordan revealed a simple truth: no advice was needed.

We helped each other simply by connecting. Knowing someone else faces similar challenges created instant relief.

This explains why learning groups work so well.

In these groups, everyone tackles their own projects, but does it together. The real power emerges through:

• Shared struggles: "That problem? I thought it was just me!"

• Visible progress: Someone celebrates a breakthrough that shows you what's possible

• Collective momentum: The group's combined energy carries everyone forward on tough days

• Built-in accountability: You feel responsible for showing up because others are counting on you

Think of it like the gym. Different people lift different weights, but watching others push through their sets somehow makes your own workout stronger. The weight doesn't change. Your commitment does.

What you're building matters. And you're not the only one building it

What About You?

What are you working on right now? And who might be working on something similar?

This week, try reaching out to someone whose path looks like yours. You might just find a new friend who gets you.

Until next week,

Alex

P.S. I'd love to hear if you've made any surprising connections recently. Hit reply and let me know! Your story matters to me.